It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and that has been deliberate. I wanted to wait until my first visit occurred with the inmate assigned to me, Timothy McKinney. This finally happened last Friday afternoon, August 29, after waiting about three weeks for my application to be processed by River Bend.
Due to the holiday weekend, my company closed our office early so I was actually able to make the Friday, 4:30-6:30 visitation for Unit 2, where all inmates serving time on death row are held. As expected, I was extremely nervous beforehand. The unknown of knowing the process and procedures along with meeting someone face-to-face who you have only shared letters with; not to mention you ARE visiting Death Row.
I shouldn’t have wasted energy being nervous. I explained to the guards at the sign-in area that it was my first official visit. All were very helpful and friendly in getting me to the proper areas. There were several others waiting to visit as well so the small waiting area in Unit 2 was pretty busy.
As I walked into the visiting area, I saw a young man sitting off to the left of the room and immediately from the smile on his face, I knew this was Timothy McKinney, or Tim as he likes to be called. I had only seen one photo of Tim and that was several years old. No matter. He looked almost the same and was so personable and engaging. We immediately started talking and it was like meeting an old friend after a long time away.
It was a little difficult to carry on a full conversation because it was so noisy. I learned that Friday night seems to be the busiest visiting time, which I thought was odd. During those few minutes I began to learn more about Tim and his story. At one point, I sat back and took a good long look at him. Tim has claimed his innocence all along and in fact, has proof he wasn’t even in the location where the crime was committed. All I could think was that this vibrant, gifted young man is innocent and yet he sits on death row like a sitting duck. How does this happen to a person? Tim’s certainly not the first innocent man to serve time in jail or to be sentenced to death for a crime he didn’t commit. My question is this – how is it that a person’s life is thought so unimportant because of greed or some other type of corruption? What happens to people to allow this to be okay as long as “justice” is served? I need someone to explain it to me in terms that I can understand. At this point, I highly doubt anyone can or for it to make sense to me.
Like many inmates, Tim does not receive visits from his family, who live in Memphis. In talking about his family, it amazed me that he carries no grudges but instead tries to understand that at least for his Mom and Dad, their way to deal with his death sentencing is to not deal with it at all. Unfortunately, in “dealing” with it this way means they have little contact with their son other than the occasional call or letter. Tim seems to have found peace within himself about the lack of visits and also about his situation in general. I learned that he is a believer and feels that he is experiencing this time in his life for a reason. He has a peace that while it may take a while, he will one day receive another trial and prove his innocence. I pray he is right. I’m not sure I would be as forgiving if I were in his shoes.
The two hour visitation period flew swiftly and I left with a tug on my heart to realize the real meaning of loss of freedom. I can only imagine how it must weigh on his heart for that outside connection to leave as well; that reminder that he can not walk on grass or go to a movie, do normal everyday things.
After I got home, my weekend plans took a turn and I realized I could go back for the longer visitation time on Saturday which is 8 a.m. to Noon for his Pod. Arriving the next morning, I felt more confident in being there, what my role for being there is to be, but I must confess, the look of surprise and happiness on his face was wonderful. We spent the entire four hours talking and enjoyed some quiet time given there were few visitors there. Again, I feel this is so odd because you’d think Saturday would be the busiest visitation time. It also hit home at how few visits most of these guys actually receive.
I can not share this experience and not tell you how gifted of an artist Tim is. He has always “doodled” and sketched but when a man is faced with isolation 23 hours out of 24, you begin to learn to find ways to be creative and keep your mind fresh and alert. A fellow inmate saw Tim’s sketches and encouraged him to take up painting. Tim quickly found that he has a natural ability and the paintings he has created are breathtaking. I encourage you to visit his website, view a few of his paintings and read more about his story. Go to:
Being an artist myself, we easily found common ground and spent the majority of our discussion time talking about what motivates us and the creative process as a whole.
At the end of the four hour visit I knew I had made a friend for life and I am willing to be the kind of friend that stands by Tim regardless of the outcome. I realize this may mean I have to witness the end of my friend’s life should the “wall of justice” refuse to do the right thing and allow another trial.
Thankfully, I’m told that his chances are actually good and that he may very well avoid his death sentence. There are others just like Tim – too many. I still grabble with the idea of Capital Punishment but that’s actually another blog for another time. Any kind of sentence imposed on an innocent victim is horrendous and anyone involved in the judicial system should be ashamed they stood by and allowed it to happen. I realize there are circumstances we can’t see but I just can not condone watching innocent people convicted of crimes they did not commit while the real criminal continues on their way; probably committing more crimes – especially if those with the power know there is reasonable doubt and still do nothing.
The journey has begun and it’s for sure there are risks involved and potential heartaches to prepare for but it’s one I’m so glad I’ve decided to take. I will return again this Saturday and every time I can thereafter to support my new friend. I see clearly the “wall of justice” and the power it welds. I leave you with this thought by John Adams: “Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak, and that it is doing God’s service when it is violating all His laws.”
